Had the bard been less livid and ready to shout, he probably wouldn't have decided that his best retort in this particular argument was something so very crass. As it was, the first thing out of his mouth was:

"Did I not just offer to suck your cock, you stubborn jackass?" Jaskier threw his arms over his head and let out a frustrated sound as he rolled his eyes skyward.

"Unbelievable," he added, to Melitele if no one else. "First you can't decide if you hate that I think of you like a lover, that I flirt and treat you like one--and then you claim you don't care how many lovers I have, because you're special and not among them but also fine with them on whole? Clearly, Geralt, you should decide on some designation for us because letting me do it is obviously unsatisfactory--"